EJIHPE | Free Full-Text | Exploring Emotions Related to the COVID-19 Pandemic through Death Education: A Qualitative Study at Italian Primary Schools

3.1. Emotions Experienced by Children, Parents, and Teachers during the Pandemic

First, children predominantly expressed negative thoughts about COVID-19 for various reasons. An illustrative summary of these thoughts included the following: “COVID makes us sick; keeps us indoors; makes us sad, bored, and ugly; and makes us cry. COVID makes us colourless.”

Other responses mentioned the use of masks; the inability to have physical contact with others; separation from relatives; confinement at home; and the highly contagious nature of COVID-19, which evoked fear. Some descriptions of the virus seemed influenced by adults or by what they had heard from the media. For instance, expressions such as “the cause of the pandemic was Mother Nature” or “it was punishment from Mother Nature because I could not see friends, go out, and live freely” were found. While most responses reflected children’s feelings of being “imprisoned”, “facing obstacles”, or being in a “trap”, some respondents expressed hope for the end of the pandemic and highlighted positive aspects of the period. These positive aspects included distance learning and having more time to sleep, reflect, and spend time with their families, allowing them to rediscover “the value of being together”. One child stated,

At first, it was bad, but then I had a lot of fun. I must say it was beautiful. No one bothered you, and you had birds singing. What could be better? You always have to find the positive side of things!

Some children described the pandemic period using terms such as “bad”, “sad”, “unpleasant”, “distressing”, and “difficult”; others mentioned feeling fear and concern; while some found it “good”, “useful”, and “interesting”. The reasons why this experience was unpleasant were tied to the characteristics of the period, such as the fact that so many people died: “Talking about it was a bit sad for me because just the thought of it broke a little piece of my heart”.

Parents also reported that their children experienced negative emotions, which were in line with those expressed by the children themselves. These emotions included fear stemming from the initial confusion surrounding the situation, which led children to enquire about the potential dangers of COVID-19 for their own lives and those of their grandparents. Additionally, children felt anger owing to the limitations imposed on their social activities. Parents also expressed their children’s deep concern for the health of their grandparents and their inability to visit relatives in the case of COVID-19 infection and hospitalization. The children also frequently asked questions such as “Mum, what if you died?”

Since children were often exposed to information from television or radio, they sought explanations from their parents. In response, the parents endeavoured to be truthful—though sometimes only partially—in their explanations. Several parents reported their happiness at having the opportunity to spend significantly more time with their families, which they would not have had during holidays.

According to the parents, the pandemic also had many negative aspects, both in terms of the children’s experiences and their psychosocial development. From the parents’ point of view, the children suffered, in particular, because of their distance from close friends and relatives. The use of protective equipment was also a source of stress and generated discussions between parents and children aimed at clarifying the reasons for their use. Lucia said the following:

As it went on, we had to remain isolated from everything and everyone, and we were not used to this. This greatly affected my daughter’s state of mind, because she felt lonely, not because she was not with us but because she could not interact in person with her classmates and the friends she usually hung out with. In addition, she suffered a lot from the distance from her maternal grandparents, where she used to spend most of the day… She missed them very much.

Physical contact, being able to play together, and attending school were what the children missed most during this period. This subsequently led some children to not develop the “instinct to approach” on social occasions, such as birthday parties, and others felt the need to create relationships.

The most stressful experiences for children were associated with internet connectivity issues, resulting in disrupted connections with their teachers and classmates, leading to frustration. Additionally, teachers often took on the responsibility of teaching, as lessons were considerably shorter during the initial lockdown phases.

Although children were not initially equipped for extensive technology use, they swiftly adapted to the new learning environment. Consequently, some parents now struggle to regulate their children’s online activities. One mother believes that owing to the pandemic and early exposure to the internet, children have entered an environment that poses potential risks for their age group.

Although most adults continued working, which undoubtedly had its advantages, it also instilled fear among parents that they might contract the virus and pass it on to their children. Consequently, parents maintained physical distance. While the rationale behind this behavior was understood, it caused discomfort for them. Giulia provided the following testimony:

My daughter would look for me, but then she realized there was a possibility I might bring the virus home, despite all precautions. It was a tough time for both of us. I tried to maintain a certain distance until the situation improved.

Several teachers reported encountering difficulties during the distance learning period, primarily because of their lack of required technological skills. Giuseppa shared her experience:

As a teacher, I faced numerous challenges. I felt thrown into a demand for technological skills that I did not possess, which forced me to invest extra hours. There were no longer any holidays; instead, every day became a working day to organize everything as best as possible, so as not to further burden these children.

Similarly, Federica stated,

I felt the need to see and interact with my students even before the start of the school day. I longed for contact because I felt disconnected from them. This desire to reconnect allowed me to embrace the computer not as a constraint but as an opportunity. Additionally, together, we made it work. Overall, it went quite well from a human and relational perspective.

For the teachers, the most challenging aspect was making relational and socialization opportunities. Whenever feasible, they provided students with avenues to express their emotions. Owing to the physical distance and associated challenges, feedback that teachers typically receive when proposing activities or new topics was limited. Even today, according to teachers, the students continue to carry knowledge gaps that the school has been unable to address. Consequently, this period was exceedingly frustrating for the teachers, despite their years of teaching experience.

While the shortcomings were more evident on the academic front, the teachers perceived that students were not “particularly stressed by this closure” on an emotional level. This could be attributed to the fact that the students’ experiences differed from the usual, including increased time spent with their parents and families. Initially, from the teachers’ perspective, the children welcomed distance learning as if it were a game. However, as they realized that this mode of learning would continue for an extended period, they began to find the situation less tolerable.

Some teachers noted that in some cases, the constant presence of parents hindered effective teaching, as parents tended to “take the place of the children”. Teachers often found themselves teaching both their students and their parents, and these children felt that they were not allowed to make mistakes as they would in a classroom setting.

The return to in-person classes was awaited with trepidation by teachers and children. Children were excited to be together and finally happy to have contact with their classmates and teachers. Federica shared her experience:

I will never forget the eyes of some of my students. When they returned in September, they looked even more beautiful than usual, with shining eyes. They communicated through their eyes, and it seemed like they were asking for a hug.

The safety measures and the thought of returning to distance learning were sources of stress and anxiety for the children. As a result, teachers had to intervene directly to reassure them, encourage reflection, and foster a sense of responsibility. Federica’s words serve as an example in this regard:

I always made an effort to showcase the small successes we had every day, also expressing, “We are in each other’s presence now [and are] no longer confined to a monitor, and that in itself is fortunate. We can see and interact in a different way, allowing for more spontaneity”. I consistently emphasized the positive aspects of the moment, resulting in them performing exceptionally well.

Considering the limited opportunities to socialize outside of school, contact with classmates and teachers played a crucial role in the students’ psychosocial development. However, there was also concern about the risk of infection during mealtimes, despite adequate spacing, as well as the fear of passing notebooks and pens, which are essential practices for teaching children to collaborate and share.

3.2. Death Education Project

Children’s responses to “Write a thought about COVID-19” in the pre-project and post-project periods did not reveal any differences between the two periods or the two schools. The elementary school students primarily reported thoughts with negative connotations. Conversely, mainly positive experiences could be identified from the responses to the question “How was talking to us about COVID-19 in these meetings?” In particular, the theme of children’s memories emerged: “In these meetings, I remembered many things that I experienced and heard during the pandemic”. For some children, talking about the pandemic brought to mind “bad things like not going to school and not seeing relatives, friends, and grandparents anymore”. For this reason, they felt sadness and pain, but being able to reflect on these emotions together during the EDI4APP project meetings allowed them to calm down.

The children’s responses brought out different experiences that can be grouped into main themes: a sense of relief, sharing to understand oneself and others, a sense of safety, learning new emotions, negative experiences, and positive experiences.

Many children reported that talking to the psychologists during the meetings allowed them to vent and consequently feel good, feel unburdened, and no longer think only about negative emotions related to the pandemic:

It made me feel better. I could not talk to anyone about it because I felt shy. However, with you, I could also get rid of the bad thoughts. You were the only ones I could express everything I had on my mind to. If you came back, I would probably be the happiest child in the world.

Other responses revealed the sharing dimension of the project’s activities: The children were able to talk about their own experiences and listen to others’ without feeling judged and, in some cases, found commonalities: “Talking about COVID was interesting because I discovered that my classmates were thinking similar things to me”.

One child wanted to emphasize the sense of security that the EDI4APP project focused on, stating, “It made me feel safe”. Talking about the pandemic during the four meetings allowed the children to learn and discover new things and emotions, such as empathy. It also helped them understand how to deal with the situation related to the pandemic and that “We should not give up”. In general, the feedback the children provided in response to the question “How was talking to us about COVID in these meetings?” was positive because many used the words “beautiful”, “fun”, “pleasant”, and “interesting” to describe the experience. However, some children did not like talking about this topic because it caused them to lose interest or become distressed.

The two schools that participated in the EDI4APP project were immediately supportive of the initiative. During regular lessons, the teachers frequently attempted to engage the entire class in a collective conversation to help the children share their emotions and experiences. Every Monday at the Costa di Rovigo (Ro) school, almost an hour is dedicated to this activity, and especially in the period after the lockdown, the emerging themes related to the pandemic. Roberta’s testimony is an example:

Sometimes, we talked about COVID: What happened? Have you heard the news? There are very informed children, children who do not follow any news, and children who are really informed daily about various news items—not just Italian, but about what is happening in Europe.

Even themes of death and loss had already been addressed prior to the project proposal, as some children had experienced the loss of a close relative—not because of the pandemic—or abandonment by a parent. Despite these situations, the teachers had a positive perception of the emotional state of the students. Patrizia reported,

Sometimes, we would go and ask, “How are you?” a bit cautiously. Even with Grandparents’ Day, we tried to do crafts also thinking about the grandparents who were not there, but I have to say that no child showed any particular suffering from this point of view.

Despite the concept of death and the associated fear being relative, according to the teachers, it is possible to discuss these topics with elementary school children. The key is to consider the terminology. Roberta shared her perspective: “Children naturally discuss it; some may even cry while reminiscing about deceased pets or relatives like grandparents. However, they speak about it calmly without appearing distressed. Children need to grasp the concept that both life and death exist”.

Given the teachers’ receptiveness to these issues, the expectations for the project were positive when it was introduced. The aim was to give children the opportunity to express their thoughts and emotions regarding death and loss through different means, uncovering unique insights beyond what the teachers observed on a daily basis. It also aimed to equip the school staff with tools to address these issues effectively. During the pandemic, the teachers primarily played a supportive role and refrained from asking children specific questions about their emotional experiences to avoid creating uncomfortable situations. This project revealed previously undisclosed situations, such as some children’s experiences of bereavement owing to COVID-19.

Only after explicit questioning did one child respond that they had lost their grandparent during the early stages of the pandemic. The teacher present during the encounter reported in the interview that she was surprised, as this kind of news is normally shared by the family.

Another teacher expressed her enthusiasm for participating in the project, hoping it would provide an opportunity for the children to express themselves and offer a final reflection for closure. Giuseppa shared her opinion: “At this age, children are still very self-centred. Hence, we believed this course could be beneficial in encouraging them to reflect upon their own emotions, helping them assign names and meanings to the emotions they frequently experience”.

Overall, the expectations were confirmed. However, some teachers reported that some of the words in the material given to the children were not age-appropriate, as they were too similar and not easily distinguishable. One teacher suggested paying more attention to monitoring the children’s comprehension during readings in class, using a slower narrative pace and pauses to allow for reflection.

A favourite activity for both students and teachers was guided meditation, during which the children were asked to imagine a safe place. This activity was also integrated into frontal lessons by the teachers to stimulate creativity and exposure through slides of new emotions, such as empathy and resilience, which entered some children’s vocabulary. Learning about hope, empathy, and altruism was met with enthusiasm by the children, as they realized that these affections were already part of their experience, and understanding that these were positive and fundamental dimensions was gratifying. Giuseppa reported,

When the Italian teacher reads passages that touch upon the emotions discussed during our activities, the children recognize them and say, “Ah, yes. We’ve dealt with this matter before. We already know this word, we’ve encountered it, and we’ve experienced and expressed this emotion. We’ve even created artwork based on it”.

According to some teachers, the impact of the project may not be readily observable, as none of the classes at either school exhibited significant disturbances prior to the meetings, and there were numerous variables at play. However, all interviews contained positive references to the value of these sessions, which helped the children gain awareness and opened doors for further growth. Patrizia shared her experience: “I believe there has been a heightened sense of awareness. The children were able to identify emotions that they were experiencing but could not previously label”.

One teacher mentioned the role that the EDI4APP project played in the “positive evolution from a relational and interaction point of view” that her class showed in the last period. The interviewed teachers considered the projects that address emotions, spirituality, and loss as useful for all ages, from the early years of elementary school to high schools, and they could be part of systematic education because “there are always aspects related to loss, and they are becoming more varied, more frequent, and more complex”. These paths can provide intervention and reflection tools for children, school staff, and parents. Often, teachers dealing with situations related to death and loss rely on their sensitivity and experiences, but they need external support to guide them.

The interviews revealed that children face a great deal of difficulty and shame in expressing themselves with their bodies, and a solution to this problem could be to increase the amount of school time dedicated to extracurricular activities, including art, music, film screenings, dance therapy, dramatization, or projects similar to the one proposed in this study. Roberta shared her opinion:

Unfortunately, very little emphasis is placed on these forms of expression, whereas I have seen them as crucial for many years. I see the children for who they are, and I believe we should reduce the focus on Italian or history and prioritize these types of experiences. Children require them, even if they cannot articulate it. Some children struggle with self-control and fail to regulate themselves in their interactions with others. They lack patience and often exhibit sudden outbursts.

On the parents’ side, there remains some resistance towards accepting projects that address topics such as death and loss, as not everyone is inclined to confront these issues. However, doubts can be dispelled by providing clear explanations regarding the context, objectives, and methodologies used in these interventions. Giada expressed her thoughts on this matter:

The key is to communicate effectively. This should be done prior to an activity, allowing parents a dedicated space where they can be informed about what will be done, how it will be done, and who will be involved. Familiarizing themselves with these aspects beforehand enables parents to feel more secure and engaged. Maintaining open lines of communication with families is crucial.

During the project, some of the children’s concerns emerged and were perceived by the parents. In particular, concerns related to the health of family members—that is, questions such as “Mum, but what if you die?” and “However, when will you die?”—and the impossibility of visiting relatives if they contract COVID-19 and are hospitalized. From the interviews, it emerged that many mothers agreed that their children are capable of understanding, albeit partially, the concept of death and “the pain a person can feel when losing someone they care about”. This is probably because these topics have been addressed in religious education, at school, or through experiences with animals and plants.

Many parents had positive expectations when the project was presented, hoping that it would provide a sense of closure; encourage their children to speak and highlight a reflection; help them better understand their children; help their children talk about the loss of freedom they experienced before, as well as about grief; and help their children learn to “individually face issues related to pain” and understand what happens when they experience a certain emotion. In general, these expectations were confirmed, except in cases in which the parents were unclear about the project’s objectives and in the case of a mother who expected her child to ask her questions about pain after listening to some stories or emotions shared by their classmates. Some parents initially had doubts and asked for a meeting to get clarification. The explanation that emerged from an interview about this initial apprehension was that some people probably consider death and loss to be difficult topics to address, even on a personal level.

Specifically, Martina mentioned that she initially viewed discussing issues such as isolation and detachment from society, which the children had experienced, as negative. However, after witnessing her son’s enthusiasm following the project meetings, Martina changed her perspective and recognized the project’s value in promoting sharing and camaraderie among peers. She stated,

In the beginning, I had doubts about my son’s participation, I must admit, but mainly because I did not want to reopen a burdened situation for him. When the informed consent form was presented to me, I thought, Oh no! Reinforcing this again? Despite that, I decided to allow his participation. Later on, observing his enthusiasm and how he freely expressed and shared his emotions with his classmates during the project, my opinion changed.

Although the children reported enjoying the project and expressed satisfaction at home, many parents did not observe any noticeable changes in their children’s emotional or behavioral aspects or the topics they discussed. Only Lucia noted that although her daughter had always been outgoing, she began to share her thoughts more and even express them in front of strangers after the meetings. Lucia also observed a stronger bond forming among classmates:

I have noticed that my daughter has become more open. Additionally, the fact that they started doing group work at school has been beneficial. Previously, the class was divided along gender lines, with boys sticking together and girls forming their own groups. There was no interaction between them. However, after my daughter participated in the project and they engaged in activities as a whole group, there was more bonding between boys and girls. Now, they interact, work on assignments together, and play together. In my opinion, this marks an important step forward.

From the interviews, it emerged that all parents consider education projects that address emotions, spirituality, and loss to be useful for various reasons. These topics are often not addressed within families unless prompted by specific events; therefore, giving children the opportunity to discuss them together can be particularly interesting, as they have their own language and can share their thoughts while listening to others’. One mother reported that an important factor was that the researchers conducting the meetings put themselves on the same level as the children, which made her son feel free to talk about his experiences.

These projects promote interactions that go beyond school education because they put children in touch with emotions that they experienced not only during the pandemic but also in other situations that they probably did not have the opportunity to discuss before. At the same time, it is important to recognize the limits of children in dealing with certain topics, “because children are all different, and they have different histories—even family and personal ones—and so, sometimes, someone is more sensitive”, especially if the facilitators are not capable of managing the reactions that arise. Alice expressed her opinion on this topic: “Since there’s a risk of delving so deep and touching such sensitive strings, if the activity goes so deep in the workshop, whoever is doing it must be able to manage the situation properly”.

According to the parents, it is vital for schools to systematically incorporate death education courses from early childhood and continue them over time. They believe that such courses can help prevent behavioral and relational problems that may arise as children grow, including instances of bullying.